Being a Mother

This is my first official Mother's Day. Last year, Mother's Day weekend was a celebration for the arrival of Emma Elizabeth, with many, many wonderful gifts and messages from our wonderful friends and family. What an incredibly special weekend it was - it was so wonderful to know how much we are truly loved and cared about, even though we are so many miles away.

The last 10 months of my life have been by far the most amazing ten months of my entire life. Motherhood has had so many wonderfully, joyful, rewarding moments. Don't get me wrong, it has its moments when I wonder if I'm really cut out for this full time, never ending job, and then all I have to do, is to stop and look into my daughter's beautiful eyes, and know that it is by far the most rewarding experience I've ever had.

I never in a million years thought I could love someone so unconditionally, that someone else's pain could be more painful then my own pain, their accomplishments mean so much more than my own. From the moment I layed eyes on my little Emma, I knew my life had changed forever. Life was no longer just about me, or just about Brian and I, I now had this tiny, little human being to love, and care for. I've heard other mothers say their most rewarding job in life is being a mother, and although I believed them all these years, I never really, truly understood just how true it is.

36 hours of labor! And Brian to this day still wonders why on earth I'd want to be pregnant for almost 10 months, and experience labor yet again to have another child. I'll tell you why: Its the way in which Emma looks at me, and watches me, and looks at Brian and watches Brian, and absolutely, positively loves us, without any judgement (well, not to much, yet anyway!). Its because of the joy it brought me in watching her sleep that first few hours, even though I hadn't slept in several days. Its because of the first smile she ever gave me (who cares if it was gas or not), or the first look of actually recognition - even if it was just because I had the boobs that fed her! Its because of how proud of herself she was, and how proud of her I was, the first time she sat up by herself, the first time she rolled over, the first time she crawled, the first time she stood unassisted, the first time she took her first steps holding on to something, the first time she put the cover back on her sippy cup, or the first time she took steps without any help, the first time she squealed in delight as she clapped her hands together, and for all the first that have yet to come.

The joys, the good days and the bad (because you have to have some not so good days to really appreciate the good days), the laughter and the tears, are so completely worth it all. Thank you Emma Elizabeth Bohan, for being my daughter, so that I could be your Mom. I hope that you'll always be proud to have me as your Mom, because I certainly will always be proud to call you my daughter (yes, even during those defiant moments, or the moments when I won't know anything).

Thank you Mom, for teaching me how to be a great Mom, and reminding me to take care of myself so I can be the best Mom I can be. You are an inspiration to so many, but especially to your little girl.

Brian, Thank you for giving me a chance to be a Mom (it would have been pretty hard to be a Mommy without you!), helping me so that Emma wasn't permanently a part of my insides (like when I told you I was done pushing, and you reminded me that Nope, it doesn't quite work that way), and loving and adoring our daughter. Watching to two of you together constantly warms my heart, and makes me a very proud Mommy and Wife! Thank you for loving us both the way you do.

For anyone that read through this very sappy blog entry, I apologize, I feel particularly sappy - maybe its being a Mom that does it to ya (some of the best Mom's I know can always go for a good long sappy moment, tears included). Joanna also stirred this up, whether she knows it or not. She was saying how she doesn't know how I could possibly have survived 36 hours of labor, and magically from the time I called her right after Emma was born, to now, can ever think of wanting another one, and I guess all the gibberish that I wrote above is why Joanna. The rewards are so worth the work and the process.

I love you Emma Elizabeth! Thank you for making me a Mommy!