Appreciating

This is one of my favorite pictures of My Dad & I.

I miss his smile.

I wasn't going to post about my Dad today. After a day filled full of wonderful things I was thankful with the ease in which today passed. Then I sat down to do my evening email/facebook/blog check, and something was just pulling at me to write a post about my Dad.

I realized yet again today how little I actually appreciated my Dad, and who he was when I was a kid, particularly when I was a teenager. As many of my Aunts and Uncle can attest to, I wasn't the most pleasant of teenagers. Like most teenagers I thought I was right, and my parents knew nothing (or even if they did know something I would still argue).

Looking back that was wasted time I spent with My Dad. If I knew then, what I know now, maybe, just maybe I would have tried to appreciate My Dad more in the way I do today, instead of the terrible lack of appreciation I had for him then. Maybe someday Emma will read this, and maybe she can find it in her teenageself to appreciate her parents just a bit more - because after all you just don't know how much time anyone has, here on earth.

I don't think there ever is truly enough time on earth with someone you love, but some days I get really bitterly angry about how little time I actually got to spend with my Dad in our lives on earth (see previous post about my strong hatred for cancer). I've been trying more over the last few months to appreciate everyone more, My Wonderful Husband, My ever giving Mother (whose crazy enough to come to New Mexico to help my crazy, anything but normal family across the country), the Light of My Life Emma, and everyone who is part of my life, big and small. After all, I can say when our time together here on earth will end.

I know I said everything I needed to say to My Dad before he passed away, but I have continued to question over the last three years, whether he really knows how much I love and appreciate who he was and is to me. I'm pretty sure he knows, but the older I get, the longer I'm a parent, the more I love and appreciate My Dad.

My challenge to all of you, find alittle more time in your busy lives to appreciate the people around you, after all you just never know.

I miss his smile, I miss his hugs - I really, really miss those, I miss his voice, I miss his great advice, I miss beating him at boardgames, and getting my butt beat by him at boardgames, I miss seeing him kiss my Mom (and it grossed me out for soo many years), I miss going home and having him be there, I miss calling to talk to my Mom-only to find out she isn't home and talking to my Dad forever instead, I actually miss being picked on (I can hear him chuckling now!), I miss his laugh, I just miss him.